


Just Need to Be (Empty)

by DaysPastHell



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abusive Arthur Weasley, Abusive Molly Weasley, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Abuse, Depression, Eating Disorders, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, anyway, i really do love them, idk ill add more tags later, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:28:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28589562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaysPastHell/pseuds/DaysPastHell
Summary: "He’d probably never feel fully comfortable, but it was doable. What wasn’t was the two Slytherins who sat across him at the round table. Theodore Nott and Blaise Zabini glared right back at Ron. Not for the first time, Ron cursed that the group sessions were interhouse. "What was meant to be a way for Ron to get help with his mental health (however unwilling) comes crumbling down around him. His fourth year becomes a mixture of scheming Slytherins, betrayal, Triwizard drama, and nosey (read: rightly concerned) teachers and Healers. Every year has been about his best friend, but this year is different and Ron needs to realize his health doesn't pause for his best friend's problems no matter how much he wished it did.A Hogwarts Support Re-Write
Relationships: Ron Weasley/Blaise Zabini
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	1. I'm Looking, But I Can't See Myself

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Hogwarts Support (Being Re-Written)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5437418) by [DaysPastHell](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaysPastHell/pseuds/DaysPastHell). 



Ron Weasley never felt comfortable in his skin. It started with the comparisons to his brothers. His hair was the same shade as Percy’s, his freckles matched Charlies and his eyes were just like Bill’s in every way. Everything in his life was compared to his brothers. Ron wasn’t smart, or at least not in the way Percy was. He wasn’t funny or a rebel. And he didn’t play Quidditch like every brother before him, excepting Percy though even in home games the bookworm was a great chaser. He wasn’t naturally athletic like all of his brothers, and it showed in his ever so slight pudge. 

The pudge chased him, at first as a reminder of how subpar he was. Then the whispered comments and giggles at the way he ate in the Great Hall. The disdainful looks, remarks of how he clearly wasn’t starving so why did he eat like he was? The meaner kids would say straight to his face that if he wasn’t careful he’d be as big as Hagrid someday soon. Not that Hagrid was ugly to Ron, he just knew there had to be some giant in him to be that size. And lowly, purely human Ron wouldn’t be healthy at that size. 

Ron lasted two years before some girl from two years ahead showed him a “handy” trick. Another year went by before that came and bit him in the ass.

\----- 

The group had grown with the start of the new school year. Ron had only been a part of it for the last month of classes the year before, but the new additions made him uncomfortable. It felt like he was starting from scratch, in his familiarity here. Over the month he’d been here, he’d learned the names and problems of the five students in the program. Faith was a Hufflepuff that lost her family the August before in a home attack. Kevin, a Gryffindor upperclassman, had a stutter and anxiety. Heather and Jessie were Ravenclaws, Heather had depression since she was ten and Jessie had an eating disorder starting from her abusive mom. But Ron was closest with Jason, another Gryffindor, who was abused by his dad and had his own anger issues. 

He knew them and felt safe around them, relatively. It was a growing attachment. The addition of four others threw that off. If they were all like Jeff, strangers that Ron knew next to nothing about, it would be easier. Oh so easier to learn to trust and have that safe place back. But no, they weren’t strangers. Nor were they all Gryffindors like Jeff happened to be. 

Neville was the only other new Gryffindor here. Ron could maybe, probably, handle having Neville here, so long as he kept his trap shut about Ron’s sessions. He’d probably never feel fully comfortable, but it was doable. What wasn’t was the two Slytherins who sat across him at the round table. Theodore Nott and Blaise Zabini glared right back at Ron. Not for the first time, Ron cursed that the group sessions were interhouse. 

“Welcome to old faces and new!” Raven Blood, Mind Healer employed by Hogwarts through St. Mungos, grinned like there was no problem having Gryffindors and Slytherins confined in the same room. “Let’s start with some ice breakers and our first journal entries of the year! Prompts, as always, are on the board.”

Ron broke the glaring contest to glance at the board. He never really did the entries, unless Blood threatened him with noncompliance. The icebreaker was something they did every session, as well as the journal entries. This one was “ _ Do you have any hidden talents?” _ and the journal prompt was  _ “What qualities about yourself do you love the most?” _

Ron rolled his eyes, keeping his arms crossed against his chest and his journal closed. Around him, almost everyone was doing their entries. Aside from the two inane questions, they also had a form to fill out. Everyone had to do these or be faced with noncompliance. The forms were covered in an anti-fibbing potion, so it would detect if you answered the questions with a lie. 

_ On a scale of 1-10, how is your…. _

_ Anxiety? _

_ Depression? _

_ Thoughts of Self-Harm/Suicide? _

_ Anger? _

_ Mood? _

_ What about the group did you most like? _

_ What did you dislike? _

_ What did you learn? _

Ron had been annoyed to learn that his little routines were considered self-harm by the paper and potion. Almost every day, that one was scored above five. They filled these out at the end of the session, but Ron already knew his anger was at a ten. Neville wasn’t helping things, poking at Ron and trying to get his attention. Of course, everyone had clumped up by house. Faith was the lone Hufflepuff, stuck between the Gryffindors and Slytherins, while the two Ravenclaws were facing her in the same predicament. 

“Ron?” Neville poked him again.

“Leave me alone.” Ron snapped, voice low to not gain Blood’s attention. The other students were talking quietly amongst themselves as was allowed. Snacks and drinks sat in the middle of the table, free to use as well as coloring pages and supplies. They were left alone, and Ron pulled a container of pencils and a sharpener towards himself to keep his hands busy. Neville, finally getting the hint, turned to his paper and started answering the prompts.

Magic was disallowed in the room and almost everything was done the muggle way. Only Blood could use his wand but even that was only for emergencies. Ron had yet to see Blood needing to use his wand. The snacks and drinks were brought in like meals in the great hall. This all just meant that pencils were to be sharpened by hand. Ron didn’t know what happened to the pencils before or during sessions to cause them to be as dull as they are every single session. None were really used, though sometimes Faith or Heather would color in one of the pictures.

Ron set out to take his frustration out onto the pencils, sharpening them to a deadly point. There were a lot of pencils, of a lot of colors, and soon he had a little mound of pencil shavings in front of him. Faith was first to finish her sheet and she pulled a coloring page in front of her to busy herself. With the Ravenclaws helping separate the two rival houses, she didn’t have anyone to easily talk to except Ron or Nott. Every pencil Ron painstakingly sharpened, he rolled her way which earned him a smile of gratitude. She didn’t use all of the colors but all the colors she used were some that Ron sharpened.

After sharpening at least a dozen pencils, and feeling the starts of a blister on his hand, Blood finally set down his paper and asked if anyone would like to start them off.

“My name is Faith and my hidden talent is oil painting. My favorite things about myself are my patience and tolerance.” Faith went first, which meant the Slytherins would continue after her. Her smile to Ron showed she did it to help him. The table continued like that. The entire time, Ron kept his attention on sharpening the pencils.

“Ron, would you like to share?” Blood had this annoying insistence on using preferred names rather than last names like teachers do. Ron shrugged, not looking up from his pencils. He wasn’t the only one not to share this time. Jeff only shared his name and Kevin stuttered his way through a no thank you. Blood hesitated more with Ron than he did with Jeff or Kevin. “Alright, today will be a light day since it’s our first day back! We’ll do some art therapy and later go for a walk.”

“Is it painting again today?” Heather asked and Blood smiled at her.

“Sure is, I’ll get the stuff set up shortly. The art prompt today is to draw yourself as an animal.”

Ron accepted a canvas as it came around, he liked art therapy and physical therapy days. He wasn’t forced to talk to others on those days and was allowed to put himself in a zone of relaxation that was difficult to do in both the Weasly household and the Gryffindor common room. Today, he wasn’t so lucky as Nott and Zabini took seats on either side of him. Ron tensed, his ears heating red in anger.

“Don’t mind us, Weasley,” Zabini said, his voice smooth and deceptively kind. “We didn’t expect to see you here.”

“I’m not the only Gryffindor here, but you lot are the only Slytherins.” Ron retorted, “I’m more expected to be here than you.”

“Oh, we weren’t talking about your house. Rather your name and being part of the Golden Trio and all that.” Zabini countered. “Does Potter and Granger know you’re here?”

Ron’s hackles went up and he almost knocked over his stool. Zabini eyed his reaction with a cool smirk. 

“Thought not. Your father is a muggle lover, after all, and he clearly follows their ideals. What do muggles do with the mentally ill again?” Zabini mused.

“Leave them out of this.” Ron hissed, glaring at his rival. Zabini shrugged.

“Just making it clear that you have something to lose by telling anyone that we’re here,” Zabini said. “What was that term, mutually assured destruction? You tell anyone we’re here, we’ll spread it that you’re here to. No matter for what reason, rumors will spread. Is Weasley psychotic and unsafe or just a pathetic whimpering boy on the inside? The truth won’t matter. People will speculate.”

“I wasn’t going to tell anyone, that would only show I’m here anyway,” Ron said, glancing up. Blood was eyeing them in concern so Ron picked up his paintbrush. “I don’t care if you’re here or not, I don’t fucking want to be here.”

“Just making it clear,” Zabini said. “No one blabs, no one gets hurt.”

“Whatever,” Ron said, pointedly not looking his way. Zabini’s smirk cemented and Ron felt a chill go down his spine. This year could not get any worse.


	2. NOT A CHAPTER

I will delete this when I post the real chap 2 but just wanted to say bc I see some new readers coming in:

I am working on the fic, it takes a bit bc i put a lot of research into it and i now work a 12 hr job 4 days a week so I'm pretty busy. Unfortunately, I broke my arm 2 days ago and writing just this is a bit difficult lol. I promise I'll have chap 2 up when I'm all healed and can write again!

Thank you all for the kudos and wonderful comments, they really do encourage me to write more!

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully, everyone following my old version Hogwarts Support has made it here. I've been planning on doing a re-write of it and finally have time and motivation after being put on a 2-week sick leave. (I'm ok, probably just have a cold but since it's similar symptoms my work is being cautious). I'm putting some of my own experience with group therapy in here to make it a bit more realistic and understandable. My old version was written before that experience. Anyways, lemme know how you like this!!


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